Governor Paterson of New York...

...introduced a bill last Thursday to legalize same-sex marriage. Almost immediately, the newly installed archbishop of New York, Timothy Dolan, said the position of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops and the Vatican on same-sex marriage is clear. At his first news conference, Dolan said:

"You can bet I would be active and present and, I hope, articulate in this particular position."

How is this supposed to make gay Catholics feel? Welcome? Accepted? And what are tolerant Catholics supposed to tell their gay friends, neighbors, and relatives? "Oh, that's not me, that's just my church. (Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.)" Does a priest like Dolan really believe that gays are sinners who choose their sexuality? Doesn't he read anything or talk to anyone? A lesbian once asked me, "Why would we choose this lifestyle?"

Why does the Catholic Church always seem so reactionary? And why does it seem that the Church always lags behind the population as a whole? The Church was even slow to condemn something as seemingly unambiguous as slavery. Why is that? And why do some Catholics have such patience for this? Why don't they leave and join a church more in line with their beliefs? After all, aren't most Christian churches in agreement on the Big Things?

I asked my sister-in-law this question recently and she had a good answer. According to her, the Holy Spirit can act by changing individual Catholic minds which can ultimately change the Church as a whole. The hierarchy then validates these changes over time. At least that's how I understood it. So for example, after the Pope re-affirmed the Church's position on birth control in 1968, the laity could gradually change its mind thus influencing the hierarchy. Fair enough. But it's been forty years! Most Catholic couples dissent. How long do these people have to wait for the hierarchy to join them? Another forty years? Won't most of them be dead by then? Are they content to be considered sinners for their entire lives? And as far as I can tell, the Church shows no signs of changing its teaching on this matter. So it could practically take forever.

The same is true for same-sex marriage. Most Americans seem to be evolving to a position of at least live-and-let-live. I'll bet most Catholics are evolving this way as well. But the new archbishop of New York, which is probably the most high-profile job in Catholic America, took the opportunity of his first news conference to reiterate the Church's official position of intolerance. Why not flip the historical pattern on its head and lead the congregation instead of following it? (Paterson is Catholic, by the way.) I know it sounds crazy, but what if Dolan had said, "We're going to stop condemning gays and lesbians and instead ask for their forgiveness. While we can't sanction their relationships just yet by marrying them in the Catholic Church, we can at least end our official disapproval and give Governor Paterson our full support in this matter."

Instead, it's business as usual, and progressive Catholics who stay in the Church will just have to suffer in silence. But the Church will eventually come around on this issue, just as it did on slavery. It will just come around after everyone else has come around. It might take fifty years, it might take a hundred, but it will happen because that's the trajectory of history. And this is what I have so much trouble understanding. Why are good people willing to stay in an institution that may not change in their lifetime? Why remain in a church filled with such ignorance and intolerance? Why follow leaders who won't lead?