There's a realtor in our town...

...named Judy Huske. I see her name on the For Sale signs all the time. I don't know the woman, but I always assumed her last name was pronounced "Husky." When I was a kid that was a euphemism for "overweight" or just plain "fat." As in "husky jeans," as if the kid was really muscular. Or, "Your son is really husky!" The mom or dad was supposed to smile at that, but was never quite sure.

At any rate, it's an unfortunate name for a woman, unless of course it's pronounced "Husk." But even then she must have to constantly correct people. Kind of like the old Saturday Night Live skit, "No, it's pronounced Azz-Weep-A." I've often wondered if it's her married name. Imagine growing up with a name like Judy Smith or even Judy Kowalski. Then you go and meet a guy named Joe Huske or Bob Huske and he turns out to be the man of your dreams. Next thing you know you fall hopelessly in love with him, get married, and live out your life in some suburb with a name like Judy Huske. After staying home with the kids for a few years you get restless and go into residential real estate. And then you have to make cold calls with a name like Judy Huske. "Hello, this is Judy Huske." "Judy Huske speaking." "Yes, this is Judy Huske; what can I do for you?" And all people on the other end of the phone can think of is how big you must be. Let's face it, a name like "Judy Huske" doesn't exactly conjure up images of Gisele Bundchen. Maybe she's of average weight. I don't know; I've never seen her. But what if she isn't? What if she's huge? And what if when she meets a couple for the first time, one of them turns to the other and says, "See, I told you so."

Actually, I guess it could be worse. Huske could be her maiden name and she chooses to use it professionally. Maybe the Huske family was a prominent one in the town in which she grew up. I've seen that before. I once heard of someone who was described to me as a "Ga-loon." I started to say I was sorry to hear that until it was explained to me that Galun was a prestigious family name in that area. Oh. So maybe her married name is actually Judy Smith or Judy Kowalski and she prefers to be called Judy Huske, even with the bad pronunciation. "No, it's Judy Husky." Whatever you say, lady.