Saturday, June 27, 2009

After my three-mile run this morning...

...(okay, walk-and-run; okay, mostly-walk-but-some-run), I came upon the annual Glenview Chamber of Commerce Summer Festival, which is held on the main drag in our town. That's actually a euphemism for "Junky Street Sale," although I have to say that this year's was a little less junky than usual.

It still had all the requisite real estate brokers, insurance agents, chiropractors, orthodontists, nursing homes, martial arts studios, Boy Scout troops, AAA, the American Legion, the Knights of Columbus, the Glenview Art League, and various other service clubs conducting raffles and handing out complimentary Frisbees, back scratchers, and fans (which are no more than circular pieces of cardboard stapled to Popsicle sticks). But I did pick up a nifty fly swatter from Quick Kill Exterminators, whose motto is "We put them on their backs." That's nice, but what I really need is for you to get them out of my house. Quick Kill wasn't the only exterminator this year; must be a bad year for pests in Glenview. There was also an outfit by the name of D.A.M! which stands for Dads Against Mosquitoes (is there an organization called Dads For Mosquitoes?).

There were also all the various booths selling crafts, gifts, and other trinkets. One sold beads, one was called "Sand and Candle Art," one "The Irish Connoisseur" (an oxymoron if there ever was one), some place called "Bad Baby," which sold bibs (not sure about that name), a couple of places selling large gaudy handbags, "Scandinavian Ski Shop," which had racks and racks of fleeces (not very tempting a week before the 4th of July), and several tables of left shoes outside the shoe store. Can you imagine waiting all year just to save a couple of bucks on shoes at the Street Fair?

The Christian Science Reading Room had its usual booth and I have to admit that I was surprised that they were still around. I've only known one Christian Scientist in my whole life and she converted to Catholicism. Choosing not to believe in modern medicine was probably not a good move for the continued growth of the denomination. I think the Mormons had a better idea by letting their men sleep with multiple women. Now that's marketing!

A couple of new groups I noticed this year were the Hands of Peace and their affiliate, Teens for Peace in the Middle East. No one else has been able to come up with a solution for Israel and the Palestinians; maybe the kids at Glenbrook South have some ideas. The other group was also made up of teenagers; they were trying to give me some information on Darfur. Why are people always trying to make me feel guilty about Darfur? I don't know a thing about it and probably couldn't even find it on a map. Why don't they just stop killing each other and leave me out of it?

One thing that seems to get bigger and bigger each year is the classic car show in the church parking lot. I especially liked the antique Thunderbirds and would love to get one of those signs that says T-Bird Parking Only. I struck up a conversation with one of the owners sitting under an umbrella in a lawn chair. He told me that while some of the people there were interested in selling, most of them just go around the classic car circuit and show off their prized possessions. I guess there's no right way to spend your summer weekends.

There's always a live band at the fair, and this year was no exception. The featured artists were the Incognitos, and they played such pop standards as "Surfin' USA," "Secret Agent Man," and "Build Me Up, Buttercup." They looked about as old as their songs, and I swear the bald guy on keyboard had to be pushing 70. If that's not enough, you should have seen the two middle-aged "groupies" that were dancing in front of the band. Let's just say there are times when it's just as well this blog doesn't have pictures.

The food is always good, and several area restaurants are represented, such as Hackney's, Fredhots, and Spiro's Deli. I had an Italian sausage (heavy on the peppers and onions) and a lemonade shake-up from Famous Kal's. I also stopped at the Chinese place, partly because the owner always looks so lonely. I don't know why; maybe people here don't want to stand around under a blazing sun and bite into a piping hot egg roll while standing on the black asphalt. Who knows?

Let's not forget the Fire Station, where kids get to slide down a pole Dean Martin-style, a very respectable magician, a booth for the traveling hockey team (those coaches sure look a lot shorter without their skates) and the Glenview House, which is the local watering hole and does a land-office business on this day. All in all, I guess it's not a bad festival and the town actually looks good for once. As Sinclair Lewis would say, "It's a fine burg."

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