Have you seen Dempster Street in Skokie...

...lately? The part that runs east from the Edens? It looks like a war zone! Whole blocks that used to contain strip malls are deserted. It almost looks like they dropped a neutron bomb on it. Oh sure, there are still some landmarks--Kaufman's deli, Pita Inn, and Poochie's and Herm's Palace for Vienna hot dogs. But there's a lot of empty storefronts! Does anybody out there know what's going on in Skokie?

There's one place that I've passed by that seems to be doing a good business, though. It's called Bollywood Salon and from the sound of it I think it caters to Indian women. It's in a strip mall and has one of those signs outside that's made up of a bunch of little light bulbs. For a while there, it was advertising EYEBROW THREADING. I don't know what that is, but it sounds painful. Recently they changed it, and now it says FULL ARM WAX $18. Is that what I think it is? I guess I didn't realize that women did that. It doesn't sound very attractive. Do Indian women have a lot of hair on their arms? I never thought about it before. And if you need to get your arms waxed, what does that say about the rest of you? Are you a werewolf? And I couldn't tell from the sign, but I assume they mean both arms for $18, not just one. I figure if one of your arms needs to be waxed, then both of them do. But what exactly is a full arm wax, anyway? Not just your forearms, I suppose. It must go all the way up to your shoulders. That would be a lot of wax! I wonder if I know any women that do that. I can just imagine the conversation between a woman and her husband on some Saturday afternoon:

"Honey, I'm going out. Do you mind if I take your car?"

"No, not at all; I'm just watching the game. Where are you going?"

"To get my arms waxed."

Ew!

Maybe this is something that only Indian women do. Maybe they've been told it's something uniquely American.

"First thing you do after you get to Chicago is get your arms waxed at Bollywood."

And how often do you suppose they need to get this done? Do they get their arms waxed before a big date? I can just picture some guy picking up his girlfriend on the way to the multiplex.

"Hey, you look great! I especially like your arms. They're so, so...hairless." Is that a compliment?

Oh well, after Bollywood Salon comes McCormick Boulevard and Evanston. Dempster then returns to normal (sort of).