As if you didn't have enough to worry about...

...the Chicago Tribune ran an article this morning with the headline, "Lake County Issues Rabid-Bat Warning." That's right. It's as though we all moved to Transylvania. But what really caught my eye was the lead sentence.

The Lake County Health Department is reminding residents to avoid contact with bats because three rabid bats already have been found this spring.

Lake County residents have to be reminded to avoid contact with bats? Really? Do they normally seek out bats? I can just picture some family sitting around on their deck, having dinner maybe, when suddenly little Johnny spies a bat up in a tree. Immediately everyone jumps up from the table and runs frantically toward the creature. Maybe someone has a dog whistle or something, but they all wave their arms madly in an attempt to attract the critter down from its perch. Once the beast has been successfully lured down onto some lucky family member's forearm, the rest of the clan can ooh and aah at the little darling. Maybe sis will even take the adorable bat into her arms and cuddle it while Mom and Dad look on approvingly.

Somehow I don't think that's how my family would react in a similar situation. I don't know exactly how it would go down, because I don't think we've ever seen a bat in our backyard, but I think it would be more like the Seinfeld episode where George pushed aside the old lady in an effort to get out of a burning building. I can picture us literally climbing over one another to get in the house while knocking over the table and chairs. Food would be flying every which way and there would be much yelling, screaming, and maybe even some bad language. Once safely inside, the finger-pointing would begin as we all desperately gasped for air. I don't know exactly how blame would be allotted and on what basis, but we'd think of something (we're pretty creative that way).

But we live in Cook County, not Lake, so maybe we don't need to be told to avoid rabid bats.