...is this ad campaign for The Partnership for a Drug-Free America, whoever they are. There's one in the "Week in Review" section of the New York Times this morning. Its title is "How to talk to your kids about drugs if you did drugs." First of all, let's start with the biggest problem I have. There's no mention at all of the most abused drug in America: alcohol. The ad implies that drug use is some adolescent experimentation with marijuana, cocaine, meth, whatever. It isn't. Drug use includes drinking, and almost every adult in America does it. That include teachers, coaches, the clergy, everyone. So let's be honest about that before we go any further.
The paragraphs are numbered, so let's take each one at a time. Number 1 includes the sentence, "Afraid we'll be asked that very uncomfortable question: 'Mom, Dad...did you do drugs?' " I have a better idea. Let's ask Mom and Dad if they currently use drugs, i. e. alcohol, and why.
Numbers 2 and 3 address the issue of honesty. They mention correctly that if parents aren't honest they might "risk losing credibility if their kids discover the real story from a talkative uncle at a family party." I'll go you one better. Be honest out of respect for yourself and your kids.
Number 4 includes the hysterical "no need to reveal you smoked marijuana 132 times!" How many people who smoked pot more than once or twice can tell you how many times they got high? Can you recount how many times you got drunk? What planet are these people living on?
Number 5 mentions that drugs are "expensive." So is golf! What does that have to do with anything? The only person that that's going to deter is me.
Numbers 6 through 9 talk about why you did drugs, what you've learned, how it was a mistake, and how dangerous drugs are. How about referring back to numbers 3 through 5 and being honest about your experiences. And maybe telling your kids that the subject is more nuanced than that. First of all, kids aren't stupid. They already know it's nuanced. So respect their intelligence and be honest. Some drug experiences are good, some are not so good. Going to a concert high can be great, driving home can be downright dangerous. Drinking beer until you puke is your business, drinking too much liquor too fast can cause liver failure and sudden death--it seems to happen at least once a year on some college campus. The important thing is to show concern for their safety. After all, these are your kids.
The last section, number 12, has probably the best sentence on the whole page. "So even if you're nervous, don't put off having the conversation." I agree. And while we're at it, let's talk about all the booze in the house and what that's all about. It could be constructive for Mom and Dad to talk about their pain, too.
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3 comments:
Couldn't agree more. How about adding nicotine to the list of lethal legal drugs as well? In the interest of honesty, that is one that still plagues me.
And what about all the over the counter medications that act as short cuts to working through the complexities of emotional and psychological experience by just labeling a kid as "a.d.d." or a woman with depression as "genetically predisposed" to the condition?
I understand that there are many drugs approved by the medical community that are highly beneficial. Certainly there are cases where they cannot be done without. Still, I don't hear the drug commericals on television telling people to couple their use of a drug like lunesta with a deeper examination of their anxiety.
It seems that when you already have a culture with a short attention span and a low tolerance for discussing difficult emotional and psychological issues, the over use of these drugs can act as a way to sleep walk through life, rather than facing the challenges involved in it. Not to mention, possibly reaping the rewards of a more meaningful and satisfying life if and when some of those challenges are met.
As Kramer once said sarcastically "Why fly a kite when you can just pop a pill!?" It's impossible to write Mike Richards' delivery...
I can't believe I forgot nicotine! From what I can tell it's one of the most difficult addictions to kick.
I totally agree with the rest of your comment. I wanted to go back an add that the reason people take drugs is that life is painful and drugs are an effective pain-killer but I just didn't know how to work it in.
I'm a big believer that it is better to live in the real world with all its pain than to flee it with drugs.
Just don't take away my caffeine!
Ya, it's true that life has its share of pain but I also think it has its share of enjoyments that don't include the drastic chemical alterations induced by a drug like alcohol. I think one of the problems is the generally accepted premise that we're not supposed to enjoy everyday pleasures (a 70 degree day in the middle of a Chicago March for example!) because we're supposed to want "bigger" things or be more "ambitious".
Sometimes I feel like life is as much like Seinfeld as Seinfeld is like life. To a certain extent, it's a show about nothing. While that might sound kind of defeatest, I think it is an entry point into enjoying life for the basic elements it has to offer, instead of ignoring the basics in order to climb to the top of some arbitrary ladder, corporate or otherwise.
I thought the story about working on the 3rd floor of the Sears Tower was a hilariously great example of how success or enjoyment doesn't need to be measured by a symbolic representation of how "high up" you get.
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