Sunday, September 15, 2013

If you attend high school football games...

...and you know a lot about the sport, please don't act like the guy in the video above. (Because you make us all feel like Woody Allen.)

I stood next to a guy at a game the other night (doesn't matter which one) who felt compelled to narrate the contest for the rest of us in a REALLY LOUD VOICE. Now, from some of his comments I could tell that he knew a lot more about football than me -- a lot. (I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the most sophisticated football fan in the world; I just like watching a good game.)

"You're not going to bring in the RUN PACKAGE, are you coach?"

"He's OPEN over the middle. They're not covering THE MIDDLE!"

There was just no chance that I could ever bring in Bill Belichick from off-camera to embarrass him the way Woody Allen did with Marshall McLuhan. The best I could do would be to pull over Belichick to say:

"Hey, you really know a lot about football! Why the heck aren't you coaching?"

(Actually, I think he was the father of one of the wide receivers on the team. At one point a woman -- probably his wife -- came up and quietly told him to pipe down or something. I think he was embarrassing her.)

But what really made this guy annoying was that he didn't stop at showing off his detailed knowledge of the game; he had to insult everyone else's intelligence by stating the obvious as well.

"It's fourth and long deep in their own territory; THEY'LL HAVE TO PUNT." (We knew that.)

"There's a flag near the line of scrimmage; looks like a holding penalty ON THE OFFENSE." (We figured that one out too.)

"You'll have to spot the ball at the runner's FORWARD PROGRESS!" (The referee knows as much.)

I think you get the idea.

So if you're like this guy (or the guy in the video above), and someone quietly tells you that you're being obnoxious, you probably are.

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