The Chicago Tribune finally...

...came out with its All-State football team today, and, I have to admit, I had almost given up on them.

Not surprisingly, Wheaton Warrenville South quarterback Reilly O'Toole (above) was named Player of the Year. Apparently, O'Toole is quite the practical joker. His mother tells of the time:

"Coach (Ron) Muhitch had lined up the offense and was talking to them. I just happened to be looking at Reilly when he tapped Ryan Crowe on the left shoulder. But he was standing on Ryan's right, and Ryan was looking around like, 'Who tapped me?' "

What a cutup!

Mrs. O'Toole admits:

"I hope I don't get him in trouble for this."

The first team contains three juniors: quarterback Robert Gregory of Simeon, defensive lineman Tommy Schutt of Glenbard West, and wide receiver Jordan Westerkamp of Montini.

Eight have committed to Big Ten schools: defensive linemen James Adeyanju of Curie (Wisconsin) and Michael Rouse of Homewood-Flossmoor (Purdue); offensive linemen Jack Allen of Hinsdale Central (Michigan State), Brian Bobek of Fremd (Ohio State) and Jordan Walsh of Glenbard West (Iowa); OL/DL Ryan Klachko of Sacred Heart Griffin (Nebraska -- that's Big Ten now, remember?); and two to Illinois -- O'Toole, of course, and running back Josh Ferguson of Joliet Catholic.

In addition, running back Kapri Bibbs of Plainfield North is headed to Colorado State; wide receiver/defensive back DaVaris Daniels of Vernon Hills has committed to Notre Dame; and linebacker Nick Lifka of Naperville North will play for Boston College next year.

Interestingly (to me), second teamers Evan Spencer, wide receiver fromVernon Hills, will be going to Ohio State; offensive linemen Jake Bernstein of Crystal Lake South will be attending Vanderbilt; defensive linemen Riley McMinn of Rochester and Jack Konopka of Fremd are going to Iowa and Northwestern, respectively; and defensive back Jarrell Williams of Richards will also be attending  Northwestern. These guys couldn't make the first team?
 
The honorable mention category lists several juniors who will be fun to watch next year: quarterbacks Devonte Black of Rich Central, Dennis Hightower of Danville, Dae'Shaun Hurley of Morgan Park, Lamontez Ivy of East St. Louis, Anthony Maddie of Aurora Christian, Malcolm Weaver of Loyola, and Blake Winkler of Lincoln-Way East; running backs Gage Harrah of Crystal Lake Central, Paul Preston of Maine South, and Josh Williams of Downers Grove South; wide receivers Guy DiBalsamo of St. Patrick; offensive lineman Jordan Diamond of Simeon; kicker Matt Micucci of Stevenson, linebacker Will McNamara of St. Rita; and defensive lineman Ryan Glasgow of Marmion.
 
On a more personal note, some of the first teamers admit to being scared of, among other things: God, death, the dark, heights, tight spaces, rats, spiders, bees, snakes, lizards and sharks. Reilly O'Toole is so afraid of sharks, in fact, that you couldn't pay him to "swim with sharks."
 

Chris Bryant is afraid of dead bodies and Josh Ferguson of "the swamplands of Florida because of alligators." Paul Wisniewski, like Kramer from "Seinfeld," is afraid of clowns and DaVaris Daniels is afraid of frogs. Frogs? 
 
Don't try to pay James Adeyanju to "kiss a man," because he won't do it. And if you need to have some goodfella whacked, don't ask Mark Sullivan, because you couldn't pay him to kill somebody. And while you couldn't pay Paul Wisniewski to go to a Justin Bieber concert, T. J. Lally wouldn't even "listen" to the teen pop star for money. You also couldn't pay DaVaris Daniels to eat guacamole or Nick Meyer to eat chocolate. Robert Gregory wouldn't take money to be around dead bodies, nor would Michael Rouse to fight a kangaroo, and your money's no good if you want Jordan Walsh to be a beekeeper or handle spiders. Don't expect Titus Davis to jump out of a moving car for money, and finally, forget trying to pay Nick Lifka to "buy a ticket on the Titanic a few years ago." (?)

It seems that most people don't know that Jack Allen is an excellent dancer or that Mark Hiben is a good singer. Or, for that matter, that Kapri Bibbs is on his high school's bowling team. (Remember when Barack Obama tried bowling during the 2008 campaign?) Apparently, Titus Davis doesn't like to shower on the Thursdays and Fridays before games (which explains a lot to that poor girl who had to sit next to him in American history last fall). And I'll bet you didn't know that Michael Rouse has yet to obtain a driver's license or that Jordan Walsh eats two McGriddles before each game.

And while Josh Ferguson hasn't convinced his parents to buy him an iPod just yet, the rest of the guys have such artists as Lil Wayne, Drake, Gucci Mane, Soulia Boy and, of course, Waka Flocka Flame (above) on theirs.

Just like me.