A friend of mine -- we'll call him...

...Kevin -- had a unique talent for delivering what is commonly known as "the backhanded compliment." (Still does, I imagine.)

For example, when in the presence of an obnoxious "figure skating mom" once, Kevin breathlessly confided in her that at the rate her daughter was progressing, she might one day be the next Tonya Harding!

Or when Kevin, admiring my admittedly well-worn shoes, commented that they were "a good purchase; you got a lot of wear out of those..."

And who could forget the time when his co-worker, Chad, came down to break him for lunch one day and Kevin, glancing quickly at his attire, exclaimed, "I know that tie is in style right now, but I still don't like it... ?"

Or, lastly, (and -- please -- send me your Kevin-isms if you have any) the snowy day when he turned to my friend Jack and said, "Way too-long pants must be a bitch on days like this!"

When it was pointed out to Kevin -- on occasion -- that his observations were sometimes less than helpful, he would merely stand up straight, stare off into the distance and unabashedly declare for all within earshot, "It's a gift."

And he was right. Although I didn't always appreciate it at the time, Kevin did have quite a knack for twisting in the knife. Or, as he once self-satisfyingly put it, "My ballbustings get you on the train ride home."

I'm reminded of all this by a story in the Times this morning, "Scientists Project Path of Radiation Plume" (my emphasis):

A United Nations forecast of the possible movement of the radioactive plume coming from crippled Japanese reactors shows it churning across the Pacific, and touching the Aleutian Islands on Thursday before hitting Southern California late Friday.

Health and nuclear experts emphasize that radiation in the plume will be diluted as it travels and, at worst, would have extremely minor health consequences in the United States, even if hints of it are ultimately detectable. In a similar way, radiation from the Chernobyl disaster in 1986 spread around the globe and reached the West Coast of the United States in 10 days, its levels measurable but minuscule.

And I can practically hear my friend Kevin say, "I wouldn't worry about it..."