Okay, I do have something to say...

...about Tiger Woods.

I noticed this morning that Accenture had ended its sponsorship deal with the famous golfer. I was never a big customer of Accenture's anyway so the news didn't really affect me that much. But it got me to thinking: how much of Accenture's business was directly tied to the use of Woods's image in the first place? I'm sure it was worth it or the big shots at Accenture wouldn't have spent so much to have his picture on all those billboards out at the airport. But I wonder.

I was in the consulting business for a year and a half, and one of the things I picked up on was the enormous respect--reverence, even--that so many finance and accounting professionals had for Arthur Andersen, Accenture's original parent. Andersen was clearly considered the Cream of the Accounting World, and the awe in which so many people held it reminded me of the reputation Goldman Sachs enjoyed on Wall Street. Every accountant I knew wished they had worked there and practically idolized anyone who did. Can I touch the hem of your garment? The very mention of Andersen's name, in fact, would often stop conversations in mid-sentence. I half-expected everyone to genuflect or at least bow their heads slightly when its name was uttered, sort of like the way the nuns taught us to bow our heads when Jesus's name was spoken.

So it was with this knowledge that I wondered, did Accenture really need to pay Tiger Woods all that money to get people to use its consulting services? Consulting is very expensive, and only the highest muckety-mucks at a company get to decide whether or not to use it. Surely the Andersen pedigree would have been enough to convince them of Accenture's reputation. Did they really need to see pictures of Tiger Woods swinging a golf club? After all, how much did he know about Accenture's services? Anything?

I can just picture some CEO getting off an airplane at O'Hare and trudging to the baggage claim area. (Actually, I can't. Don't they all take private jets in and out of small airports?) He's mulling over some potential project in his head when all of a sudden he looks up and sees an Accenture billboard with Tiger Woods on it and the caption, "Go on. Be a Tiger." It stops him dead in his tracks. His jaw drops. He's having an epiphany! Immediately he whips out his BlackBerry and calls his assistant.

"That's it; I've decided. We're going ahead with that project we talked about. Call Accenture right away!"

"Yessirrr!"

Is that how these things work in the real world? Must be, or else companies wouldn't pay Tiger Woods so much. After all, doesn't Woods's endorsement make you want to just run out and buy a Buick? (Is there anything that could make you want to buy a Buick?)