Here's another one of those pictures...

...of some big shot, in this case Defense Secretary Robert Gates, inspecting the troops. And I've always wondered, what exactly is he supposed to be inspecting anyway, their faces? ("You didn't shave today, mister!") Their uniforms? What should he do if he finds, say, a spot on someone's tie, throw a hissy fit? ("I can't believe you have a spot on your tie!") Or perhaps say, in a low voice, "Hey buddy, you've got a spot on your tie. You'd better take care of that ASAP." Is he supposed to tell the commanding officer? "Hey, one of your guys had a spot on his tie. Other than that, they looked terrific!"

What if he doesn't like what he sees? Would it be bad form for him to stop short and bark out, "You're all WORTHLESS and WEAK! Now drop and give me twenty!"

And how does all of this start? "Hey Mr. Secretary, before you leave, would you like to inspect the troops?" Ugh, do I have to?

How does it work? Do you just walk down past the first set of troops once and say, "Yeah, they look pretty good, I guess." (Kind of like when the barber shows you the back of your head in the mirror after he cuts your hair?) Or should you walk back and forth a couple of times just to make sure you didn't miss anything?

And what do you suppose Robert Gates is thinking in this picture? I can't believe I'm doing this -- I've got @#$% to do! ... Is my wife's birthday tomorrow, or the next day? ... Hey, that one looks like my brother-in-law!

"Okay, I've seen enough. Is my plane ready?"