Tuesday, April 20, 2010

"The rich are different from you and me,"...

...or so said F. Scott Fitzgerald. Besides having more money, of course, they also have more things to worry about. Take the possible strike this week by New York City's doormen. According to the Times,

The strike would involve 30,000 doormen, porters, superintendents, elevator operators, handymen and janitors.

The situation sounds really tense:

If negotiations with the city’s apartment building owners fail and the doormen walk off their jobs, residents of about 3,200 co-ops, condominiums and rental buildings will be called on to share the burdens of taking out the trash, sorting mail, operating elevators — even cleaning out lint filters in dryers. Contract talks between representatives of the owners and the workers continued Monday as a strike deadline of midnight Tuesday loomed.

I can just see Jamie Dimon taking out his building's trash.

"Hey A*****E! Shouldn't this bottle be in the recycling bin? What the f***'s the matter with you!"

Or Lloyd Blankfein sorting the mail.

"Why hello, Mrs. Prendergast! Beautiful day, today, isn't it? Say, I see that your social security check has arrived. Tell me, have you ever considered opening a derivatives account with Goldman Sachs?"

And then there's the matter of operating the elevators. Operating the elevators? I know that some of these buildings are "pre-World War II," but haven't they upgraded the elevators?

As the negotiations wore on, residents of buildings whose lobbies might be unmanned during a strike tried to rally their neighbors to pitch in. In the 15-story, brick-and-limestone building at 322 West 72nd Street in Manhattan, only a few tenants had signed up to operate the wood-paneled elevator if its operator goes on strike. One who did, Eve Evans, 47, said she had received a lesson from a professional but doubted she was suited for the job.

“I won’t do it very well,” Ms. Evans predicted. “It’s really going to be a problem. I’m just crossing my fingers, hoping it doesn’t happen.”

Relax, Ms. Evans, you'll do just fine.

"Good morning, Mr. Pandit! And how might you be today? Uh huh. And Mrs. Pandit? Splendid!

"Stand back. Let me get that nasty grate for you."

In the evening, it's just the opposite.

"Why Mr. Pandit! So good to see you! Good day today, I trust? Make a lot of money for your clients?

"(I'll have to ask you to put out that cigar. Rules, you know.)

"You look a little tired. Did those pesky regulators in Washington have a go at you again? I'd wager Mrs. Pandit is preparing a good meal for you as we speak.

"Seventh floor, right?"

I'm sure it will all be okay. In the meantime, though, let's just hope those irresponsible doormen don't go through with that crazy strike idea of theirs. (Those lint filters can be tricky.)

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