We only watch highbrow television...

...at our house. To give you an example, my wife never misses an episode of "Say Yes to the Dress" on TLC, while my son and I are big fans of "Surviving Disaster" on Spike. Not familiar with Spike? It's a lot like PBS. The rest of its lineup includes "1000 Ways to Die," "The Ultimate Fighter," "Fast Machines with Funk Master Flex," "Real Vice Cops Uncut" (last episode: Birthday Suit Bust), "Guys Choice: All that's Important to Men Everywhere," and "Manswers," which recently tackled the question, "Will she be a screamer?" (I assume that means, "Is your new girlfriend a vocal sports fan?") I guess the target audience for Spike is what used to be called the Brie and Chablis Crowd.

"Surviving Disaster" is hosted by a former Navy SEAL named Cade Courtley (great name) who begins every show by saying, "I'm Cade Courtley and I'm about to save your life. Will you be a survivor or a statistic? The choice is yours." Count me in, Cade! Courtley instructs the viewer on how to survive a myriad of potential crises the average person can expect to encounter in his daily life. Some of the episodes I've seen include:

Nuclear Attack--A nuclear bomb has been detonated on American soil. Navy SEAL Cade Courtley shows you what to do in the first 20 minutes of detonation in order to survive. Although Cade (I feel like I know him) warns that "it's illegal," he shows you how to hot-wire a car to make a safe getaway. Whoa! Did you say illegal? I'm not so sure about that. (Which two of those wires did you say you connect again?)

Home invasion--When violent criminals break into your home, Navy SEAL Cade Courtley shows you how to fight back if escape is not an option. You will learn how to get out of hand restraints and devise a plan for escape in a life-threatening hostage scenario. Did you know that 8,000 homes are invaded every day? According to Cade, 1 in 5 homes will experience a home invasion. Yikes! (How come I don't know any of those people? No matter.)

Hurricane--A major hurricane hits your city. Navy SEAL Cade Courtley will show you how to maneuver your car through flooded streets, cross a fast-moving river to get to higher ground and barricade yourself in an abandoned house in order to survive. He'll also show you how to treat a wound from an alligator bite. Now that could come in handy!

Hijack--Navy SEAL Cade Courtley fights terrorists in this highly realistic simulation of an aircraft hijacking. He shows you how to turn everyday items into improvised weapons, how to overtake suicidal hijackers and how to fly and land a commercial airliner. Yes, you read that last part correctly. "It's a piece of cake!" he says. Just remember to dial into the emergency frequency, which is 121.500 (or was that 122.500?) Shoot! Can we see that part again? "If you ever find yourself at the controls of a jet," Cade assures us, "the important thing to remember is not to panic." Gotcha!

Other episodes that I'm looking forward to seeing are:

Mall Shooting--A highly trained terrorist cell takes over a crowded mall in a military style siege. Navy SEAL Cade Courtley shows you how to survive a firefight using SEAL Team tactics and take on this well armed enemy by constructing improvised weapons, smoke bombs, and night vision gear. I don't know about you, but I always bring my night vision gear with me to the mall anyway.

Avalanche--A day on the slopes turns disastrous when a deadly avalanche hits. Using the latest survival methods and military techniques, Cade Courtley shows you how to build a snow shelter and survive overnight in sub-zero temperatures, face off with a grizzly bear, and escape from a massive avalanche. Are there really bears on the slopes at Vail?

Lost at Sea--A leisurely ocean voyage becomes your worst nightmare when you get trapped under a capsized boat in a violent storm at sea. Cade Courtley will show you how to survive as you drift for days on a life raft and defend yourself against deadly sharks. Why does there always have to be the added threat from a wild animal in these situations? Aren't these disasters challenging enough?

All kidding aside, it's actually a very interesting and compelling show. Check it out.