I saw "Midnight in Paris..."

...yesterday and I couldn't help thinking of Willie Mays.

Huh?

You see, after Mays was traded to the New York Mets at the ripe old age of 41, he hit a most un-Mays-like .211 in his final season.

And just like Willie Mays, Woody Allen doesn't know when to retire.

"Midnight in Paris" is an embarrassing movie, almost like a "Saturday Night Live" parody of a Woody Allen film (when "Saturday Night Live" was still good).

The characters are hard to watch, the dialogue is stilted -- the whole thing is just a mess.

Compare it to "The Purple Rose of Cairo": an equally absurd premise -- an actor literally stepping out of a movie screen and falling in love with a member of the audience -- that worked, somehow, because it was funny and clever. Unfortunately, "Midnight in Paris" is neither.

And it's a shame, because watching a Woody Allen movie nowadays is like watching the "Say Hey Kid" back in 1973 -- depressing.