I went to McDonald's the other night...

...with an older man whom I've befriended lately. Since I'd already had dinner, I just ordered an apple pie and a decaf.

First, however, I had to make the mistake of asking, how long had that pot of decaf been sitting there?

What followed was an exasperated flurry of Spanish between the woman at the counter and the manager behind it.

"Uh, twenty minutes -- or so," she finally turned to me and said.

I could just imagine her thinking, Just drink it bald guy; you couldn't tell the difference anyway. What time is it, seven? Three more hours of this s*** before I get to go home?

"Okay, okay; I'll take it."

"Do you want two apple pies?"

Why on earth would I want two?

"They're two for a dollar."

Jackpot. "Oh, yes -- please!"

And then came the kicker.

"Senior coffee?"

"Beg pardon?"

"Senior coffee?"

Senior? What in God's name is this woman talking abou--

"You think I'm a senior citizen?!?"

"Well, I, uh, er..."

"How old do you think I am?"

"Uh, uh, uh..."

"Full price, please..."