Here's a picture...

...that illustrates two (only two?) of my (many) pet peeves: wearing a hat indoors -- especially in a restaurant -- and wearing a hat to cover a receding hairline. (How do I know this guy is losing his hair? Why else would he wear a ridiculous-looking hat like that?)

As for the first, I'll say this: at least he's not wearing a baseball cap. I can't tell you all the times my wife and I have gone out to dinner only to be seated next to some lout who looks like he just got off his John Deere tractor.

Men of America, hear this: shave, shower, put on a clean shirt, and take off that #$%! hat when you're in a restaurant.

Secondly, as a (slightly) balding man, I have a message for this guy and others like him: it's okay to lose your hair. Sure, we'd all like to have a thick, lustrous mane -- heck, I'd like to be 6'3", too, but that just wasn't in the genetic cards for me. But we had a good run -- my hair and me -- and now it's drawing to a close. And you know what? It's going to be okay. We'll survive it. Besides, when you try so obviously to hide your baldness, it only draws attention to it.

So relax, buddy; take off that stupid-looking hat and enjoy the meal.