I made it to the state track meet...

...on Saturday (no thanks to the Illinois state police, who stopped me for speeding just south of the city, even though I was only keeping up with the traffic; and took my license, even though I tried to reason with the #*&! cop and tell him that I might need it in case I had to get on an airplane or something -- even though I don't have any plans to fly in the near future and, even if I did, could use my passport, but still...).

Word to the wise: Be extra careful driving on Memorial Day Weekend.

(My wife struck up a conversation later with a state trooper while waiting in a concession line at the meet. He said they were out in full force for the weekend and told her a story of how he'd stopped earlier in the day to help a stranded motorist. The cop had to take the poor guy in when he found out there was a warrant out for his arrest.)

We arrived in time anyway, only to bake in the unforgiving central Illinois sun.

Another word to the wise: Sunscreen.

The Illinois high school state track meet makes for a fun day; it's only a three hour drive from Chicago to Eastern Illinois University in Charleston (the alma mater, by the way, not only of Tony Romo, but also of Mike Shanahan, Brad Childress, and Sean Payton -- take that Miami of Ohio, Cradle of Coaches) through the flat Illinois countryside (be careful not to speed!). I was looking forward to the "Burma-Shave"-style signs from last year, but saw only two, one on the way down:

IF YOU WANT PEACE

PREPARE FOR WAR

GUNS EVEN THE SCORE

and one on the way back:

YOUNG THUGS

WON'T DARE ATTACK

IF A TEACHER

MIGHT SHOOT BACK

GUNSSAVELIVES.COM

Apparently, central Illinoisans are still gun-happy, but a little less so this year. (They're still convinced, however, that potential invaders are just itching to take over their godforsaken corner of the universe and that teachers in small towns should be armed against menacing farm boys, just in case.)

I guess I expected more signs this year, not fewer, considering that there's a foreign-born socialist in the White House. (Maybe even tea partiers get tired of ranting over nothing.)

The meet was a good showing for the Central Suburban Conference, as representatives took first place in the 100 and 200 Meter Dash and the 4 x 100 and 4 x 200 Meter Relays. Also, Niles West took seventh overall. (Loyola Academy tied for eighth.)

This year's meet was most notable for its balance. Although Hillcrest took first in 2A for the second year in a row (let's bump them up to 3A next year, shall we?) and York took second in 3A, Cahokia only placed third in 2A, and gone from the leader boards were such venerable names as East St. Louis, Springfield Lanphier, and Evanston.

The Worst Name Award for the day went to Marcus Popenfoose, of Huntley, with Second Place going to Wana Wauna, of Oak Forest. Logan Pflibsen, of Streator, received Honorable Mention.